There are many meanings, both positive and negative, given to aging and even having birthdays. No matter what our next birthday number may be, there is usually something that has been planned, hoped for, or feared that is attached in our minds to that number.
For some, it’s the magic of 18 or 21, or the fear associated with the age of our parents when they passed away. For others, there is dread at the number 30, then 40, and, heaven forbid, the BIG 5-0.
Our chronological ages, however, do not automatically tie us to a certain set of physical, mental and/or emotional conditions. While we may find ourselves being influenced by the perspectives of family, friends and/or employers, we don’t have to let the impact of that be negative.
There are several ways to make the aging process better for ourselves.
1. Refuse to accept limitations associated with your chronological age. Find something you always wanted to do and get started. That may be dancing, bowling or hiking. And remember, the treadmill settings start at .5 because all of us have to start somewhere.
Before I retired four years ago, I used to say, “I haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up.” I really didn’t know the significance of what I was saying at the time. My life has changed, and continues to change, in unexpected ways, because I refuse to accept limitations of my chronological age. I now know that if my mind can perceive it, I can do it.
2. Get in touch with what your heart desires. In Deepak Chopra’s, “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire”, he challenges us to ask ourselves, for 20 consecutive days, “Who am I?” and “What do I want from today?”. I have done this, and although some days the answers are not so clear, there are others on which they are strikingly so. For a video of Chopra himself discussing this powerful tool, go to this link.
The truth is that we can do and be whatever we want if we know what that is, we are earnest in those desires, and we are willing to allow the abundance of the universe to come to us.
3. Discover the possibilities. Sure, there is skepticism because of the economy, health issues, family turmoil, and other matters that we deal with on a regular basis. Without open-mindedness and exploration, how will we know which of the possibilities we desire?
Changing our outlook and expectations of even the smallest things in our lives opens us for larger, more positive changes to happen. On several occasions at the gym, others were watching me as I struggled to achieve a new range of movement. Because a few individuals that I did not know took the time to speak to me, I became aware of the possibilities to encourage others along their journey.
Since I began to open myself to the possibilities available to me, and have taken charge of my own health issues, my chronological age is more than my “real age“; my health has been restored; new friends have enriched my life, and I believe I know what I want to be – IF I ever grow up.
Many new growth opportunities have come my way, and continue to do so, each bringing a new thought, idea, or philosophy to share. I am evolving each day, seeking to recognize the gifts that others have to share with me, as well as seeking ways to share my gifts with others.
Nancy Burnham, a partner in Authentic Abundance, is a neurofeedback technician.
Flickr Photo – Numbers by procsilas
Nancy, I think I need to send this article to the women on my online dating site.
It seems as though once I hit the magical 61, I am no longer included in many match searches. It seems so arbitrary to be judged this way.
Of course I’m also looking at how my thinking and judgement of others may have contributed to this temporary reality. I call it temporary because age can be challenged. Good post. Thank you.
Tom, thank you for your comments. My chronological age is 64, my real age is 57, and my trainer works me like I was 35. Is that ‘new math’ or what? Do they make search engines to calculate those numbers?
Nancy, excellent post and excellent points. Age is a funny thing, and like you say, our chronological age may or may not be the age we think of ourselves as. I know most of my life, I’ve felt about 25-30. That started when I was about 15 and continues right up to today. LOL
I’m turning 47 next month, but when I look in the mirror, I see the same chick staring back at me as I have for the last 30 years. I will say, though, that she seems to stare back with more and more confidence, almost like she’s daring me to say something to her. And my perception of what any particular age “looks like” is changing, too. Back when I was 30, I thought I would look ‘old’ at 50. But now, as I’m knocking on 50′s door pretty hard, I think I look better than I did at 30. Go figure!
The changes in how I see the world through the lens of age are even greater! I have some of the usual thoughts of, “Oh, they look like babies,” when attending a high school or college graduation, but I also look at my 12-year-old daughter and think, “Oh my goodness, she looks so grown!”
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “The truth is that we can do and be whatever we want if we know what that is.” I think that’s true, no matter what our chronological age. The only limits we have are our determination and our imagination!
Suzanne, thank you for the comments.
The mirror can be good or bad when we look at it. I thought you were more like 25 when we first spoke. Just keep thinking young and I am sure you will keep looking young. The children, however, just keep having birthdays.
Thanks so much, Nancy. So well timed (no pun) for many of us. When I consider my ‘real’ age, 30-something comes to mind and heart, but with more wisdom, discernment and patience thanks to having more mileage on my human odometer.
Case in point: when someone talks to my buoyant mother on the phone, they think she’s younger than me (e.g., in her 40s, or younger) ~ so alive, vibrant, tracking every thought and idea like Sherlock Holmes’ bloodhound. Nothing gets passed her. At 90, she’s a super role model for many, esp. those of us who see more physical evidence of aging on our bodies and are none too thrilled about all the extra lines, like a detailed Michelin map surfacing on our skin
Yet, when I look at my amazing mom, what I see (and admire) is a pillar of strength, insight, humor (esp. when most needed) and a timeless spirit, not the weathered face of old age.
When my mother was retiring from her long-held job at age 65, she asked whether she should have a facelift, as one of her (more vain) contemporaries was doing at the time. I was aghast. Facelift? You’re more alive than my peers, exuding a youthful exuberance no plastic surgeon’s workmanship could match (she’d have to look 21 then to mirror her super-charged energy!).
Now my peers are considering the same lifestage issue ~ how to refresh and renew themselves to look as young as they feel (or at least look younger, equating to better). Facelist? Nah. Energy boosts and spirit lifts are the order of the day!
Thanks again for adding a rejuvenating smile to my week!
Lillian,
Your mother sounds very special and you are fortunate to have her with you. I have now lived longer than my mother did. A facelift might make the crows feet around the eyes look better, but I bet she has a super sparkle in her eyes. The eyes tell you the spirit is there and thriving.
Thank you for sharing with me.
Nancy
Hi Nancy,
(Nice name you have there LOL!) I love your article, especially the part about exploring possibility because that is available to anyone who is still breathing, regardless of age. I love how a colleague puts it: Chronologically Gifted. Which perhaps means that the older we are, the more possibilities we have
A rather delightful way to perceive the world, isn’t it?
Nancy Boyd recently posted..11-11 Phenomenon Continues With 4-11- the Next in the 11-11 Series for 2011
Nancy,
I love that term Chronologically Gifted! The older we are the more gifts we are afforded. Sometimes we don’t recognize them as such but as challenges (also known as opportunities in). Time is our gift and every day is full of space for new hopes, dreams and aspirations. Thank you.
By the way, my grandmother gave me my name and I never thought of having any other.
The other Nancy
Being older has brought many adventures that I would not have enjoyed so much when I was younger, wouldn’t have known how to appreciate them.
Being older has brought a certain amount of patience, which I was short on when I was younger.
Being older has brought a sense of peace and who I am, I didn’t have that when I was younger.
Even though I’ve had good and bad experiences in life, there is still a strong desire to push myself and see how much more I can learn, feel and do. To me age is a state of mind.
Ellene, all I can say is Amen!
I was a late bloomer for several reasons and I am still evolving. Some days instead of pushing, though, I enjoy just being quiet and listening for the universe to speak to me. It just might give me a new challenge.
Nancy