I talked to my 29 year old daughter about this concept last night at dinner. I was describing a chapter in Harry Beckwith’s book, Selling the Invisible in which he postulates the following theory:

College and graduate school teach us that competence and technical skill is everything. This contradicts what high school rewards – well roundedness, kindness, and likeability. In short, it’s popularity  that counts.

Famous actress, Meryl Streep said, “I really did think that life would be like college but it isn’t. Life is like high school.”

Beckwith goes on to say,

Life really is like high school and popularity counts. The competent, likeable consultant will attract far more business than the brilliant but socially deficient expert.

The same is true for an attorney. Popularity counts in attracting business.

My thinking is just a little different on this matter although I have no quarrel with what Beckwith or Streep have to say.

I think it’s more inclusive.

High school really teaches how to navigate the waters of getting along with other people, teachers, coaches, administrators and other students. In addition, you start to come to grips with self-acceptance.

College is a game of organization. You get to manage yourself inside of this concept called time.

For the first time for most people, you determine when to wake up, when to go to sleep, when to study, what classes to take, who you go out with and when.

In short, you have 168 hours (24×7) per week. The quality of life is determined by how you use those hours and for most people, college is the first time you experiment with that.

By the way, if you are out of college, and this is the first time you heard that you have 168 hours in a week, it’s not too late to experiment with it.

The exercise would be to design an “ideal” week. What would it look like?

I became aware of this concept in 1989 and it changed my life.  I recommend it.

Unlike Beckwith and Streep, I think the “real world” is a combination of both high school and college.

In the early 1990’s a study was done in California where they asked people the question, “What do you wish you had learned in school?” Here are the top six answers given:

1. How to accept myself

2. How to get along with others

3. How to set goals

4. How to organize myself

5. How to make money and keep it

6. How to communicate more effectively

As an adult, those are the things to study, learn, and perfect in order to lead a better life. High school and college begin to educate and prepare you for living. The list above can continue the process.

 How about you? What do you wish you had learned in school?

David Goldman is a partner in Authentic Abundance.

Flickr Photo – Carl Wycoff

If you are experiencing less than grandiose results in your application of the Law of Attraction this is what you need to know: 

The Law of Attraction is always working! 

If you believe that the Law of Attraction is not working for you, perhaps it would be helpful to understand that this law is Universal. 

Another Universal law is the Law of Gravity .  This law is always working as well. 

We believe in it because we were taught it from birth – we experienced it every time we fell to the ground as a toddler learning to walk.  Every time we let go of a ball, a spoon or our binkie, it dropped to the floor. 

As we grew up, we learned more about it in science class.

The Law of Attraction has not been as well embraced as the Law of Gravity.  Most of us did not learn about it growing up.  We did not learn about it in school. 

But, it is working all the time regardless of your knowledge about it, or your belief in it. 

To understand more, let’s go to the definition of the Law of Attraction. 

In a basic sense it means ,with regard to energy, that like attracts like.

Because our thoughts are energy, like thoughts attract like thoughts. 

This can be demonstrated when you fall in love and the thoughts about your partner are heavenly.  When you are having these elevated positive thoughts about your honey, everything is going right! 

You notice how blue the sky is, you pay close attention to your partner’s loving smile, soft voice and sparkling eyes.

On the flip side, this can be demonstrated when you are late for work and your thoughts are angry.  When you are having these elevated negative thoughts about being late, everything is going wrong. 

You notice how many red lights you get (you may even count them!), you realize that your fuel gauge is on empty, the idiot that just cut in front of you or the one coming at you with high beams turned on.

The Law of Attraction always brings to us a reflection of the thoughts that are running through our mind. 

The problem is that our mind is made up of the conscious and the sub-conscious. 

So if you say I always try to be so positive, you are speaking of your conscious thoughts.  The next step would then be to investigate those thoughts that are a little less obvious to you – the ones that run below the surface, sub-consciously.

How can one access these rascally little sub-conscious thoughts that are actually running the show??   They are closer than you think…

If you would like to learn more about discovering the thoughts that hold you back from success in any area of your life, join me for a FREE Tele-seminar entitled Using Your Fear as a Catalyst to Your Success on Wednesday, March 7th at 5PM EST hosted by Authentic Abundance, LLC.

Click here to register:  http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/X4T5U8KQLO5D4OP0

 Deb Carter is a partner at Authentic Abundance.

Flickr Photo – Alshaya

After graduating from college, I had some trouble finding a job.

Eventually, after a series of disappointments over a period of what felt like an eternity of desperation, I was offered a position at a national retailer as an assistant manager.

By this time I was excited just to have a job! 

A few months into my new role, a shift in upper management took place. It turned out that the district manager who hired me and the store manager who trained me (at a distant store) were let go for some misconduct.

When the new district manager came in, (We will call him Charles.) he was quick to throw his “weight” around. He began to make requests and put initiatives in place that I did not agree with.

His view of making things better were, in my eyes just making things worse. 

Eventually, I had enough.

Things were just fine before Charles came around and now I hated the thought of working for this man. I finally came to the point were I decided to quit. I thought he was a jerk. Good riddance!

I’m sure the feeling was mutual as he had no qualms about me leaving the company. So, I left, confident in the rightness of my cause and supremely confident in his absolute wrongness toward me… even though I really wanted and needed that job. 

Here are some questions I’d like you to consider as you think about my story:

Who in this story (me or Charles) thought the other needed to change? (both of us?)

Who was likely to change? (neither of us?)     

Do you suppose I gave much thought about the challenges he was facing in his new role? (no!)   

If I had stayed with this company, what would our relationship have looked like going forward? (fake, compliant, etc.?)

Do you suppose my leaving the company made me think differently of Charles? (of course not!)

How long do you suppose I have been thinking negatively about Charles since I left? (I can tell you – a very long time.)

What could have helped us to avoid all of this unpleasantness?

What could have broken the cycle of interpersonal warfare in which we were engaged?

The Anatomy of Peace answers this final question in striking detail and depth.

This book, after nearly 20 years of feeling self-righteous and justified in leaving this company, has finally helped me to see how I had been wrong in this situation.

Understand, my being wrong didn’t make Charles right.

What was wrong about this situation was something more subtle and deeper than the level of our behaviors. It is this deeper and more subtle something that forms the basis for the solution to challenges like those that Charles and I had created for each other.

Ever since the day I left that job in anger and self-righteousness, I continued to feel justified in my position toward Charles.

Charles was just a big jerk.

After reading The Anatomy of Peace and after some deep reflection, I finally realized that I had been resistant to Charles’ authority.

While it is possible that he could have handled things better, looking back, it was I who had applied a generally resistant attitude toward people in positions of authority my whole life. 

To all the Charles’ I have come across and resisted along the way, at home, at work, and in the community, I am sorry. It had nothing to do with what you stood for or who you were.

It had everything to do with who I needed to convince myself that I was.

Please forgive me.

 I hope this has been helpful to you. Please leave a comment and let me know!

 Peace.

Bill Frase is a partner at Authentic Abundance.

Photo by - Olga Lednichenko

They think it’s because they don’t know enough about how to start a business … but that’s not it.

Or they think that the economy or the competition is stopping them but that’s not it either.

Often they hesitate out of the fear of losing the security of employment. That’s getting closer to the truth.  But it’s not really what stops them because deep down they know that being self-employed actually provides greater security.

When self-employed your destiny rests with you.

But this misdiagnosis doesn’t only apply to those who want to start their own business and haven’t yet.  The same thing goes for those already in business, who need to make an adjustment to earn more money or realize greater fulfillment.

Both groups tend to look outside of their own wisdom for answers.  They look to experts who appear to be more successful than they are.  But that’s looking in entirely the wrong direction.  Some proven methods universally produce results but the real reason that people succeed in business is found within and is unique to each individual.

Success is uniquely created simply because each of us has a very unique set of gifts that must be expressed and fears that must be released.

Here is the correct diagnosis for success.  Look within.  Look within to see clearly what you want.  Then do everything in your power to create it using methods that work for you.

Accomplished artists of all walks know that success is created just like art.   Marketing guru Seth Godin believes that completing and shipping our creations is the key to success.  He, like The War of Art author Steven Pressfield, believes that resistance is self-sabotage that keeps us from completing and from business success.

On their blogs and on the blogs of other productivity experts, they often use terminology that sounds like it was written by a Nike advertising team. We are told to do battle with resistance, to suck it up and just do it.

But I know there is an easier, more natural and more effective way than doing battle with resistance.  What we resist persists right?

The Heath brothers in their excellent book Switch, How to Change When Change is Hard, tell us that self-control (discipline) is an exhaustible resource.

We run out of discipline.  It can’t be maintained and when it runs low resistance rushes in.  Resistance wins when we quit early, avoid or make excuses when we seek relief.

The title of this post promises a new way to business success and here it is.  This new way doesn’t beat resistance it simply operates in a zone that resistance will not visit.

Just like fear cannot exist in the presence of love, resistance cannot exist in the presence of inspiration. You can’t run out of inspiration either. I’m talking about a special vein of inspiration that is tied to right action.  Inspiration is so powerful that I created this product creation system  to tap into it and use it.

I’m talking about eagerness.  Right now think of something that you are eager to do.  Does any resistance come up at all?  I didn’t think so. Here’s a powerful distinction for you.

The relief or avoidance of resistance is, running away from what you want.

The inspiration of eagerness is, running towards what you want.

When you find and engage your natural eagerness it’s easier to get what you want because a natural flow takes over.  Here are my principles of eagerness that will tie it all together for you.

• Eagerness leads to willingness which leads to action which leads to success.
• Eagerness is a natural response to authentic desire and only exists in the absence of fear.
• The fierce and passionate qualities of the heart are more prevalent when we are actually doing something, so the more active the experience the more authentic the desire.
• Two of our most basic desires are to create and to connect.  When we are creating or connecting we have already moved from eagerness, through willingness and into action.

Can you see why the most certain route to success begins within?

Would you like me to coach you in the discovery of your eagerness free of charge?

Then listen to this powerfully effective Eagerness Teleseminar audio.

This free seminar is sponsored by Authentic Abundance and is the first call of three in this Turn Your Core Calling Into Cash series.

Tom Volkar, founder of Authentic Abundance, is an authentic business startup coach.

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring. -  Oscar Wilde

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like hugs, handshakes and smiles. In fact, I collect them.

Family, friends and sometimes total strangers stop by to review my collection. 

Many visitors will ask me how I came to have such a large inventory of these priceless gems.

I tell them that my ability to spot these treasures in their natural environment and acquire them for my collection has always been easy for me. Apparently it was a gift given to me at birth.

Word of this collection has spread like wildfire. It’s gone viral. Sotheby’s will probably be contacting me for the exclusive rights to auction the entire contents. 

Perhaps Warren Buffett and Bill Gates will request a private viewing.

I know, I know. You’re probably saying, “Has this guy totally lost it?”

And you already know my secret.

Amassing a fortune in hugs, handshakes and smiles is the easiest thing to do.

The more of them to get, the more of them to give!

The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.

Be aware of the opportunities you have to smile, shake a hand or give a hug.

And, you will add significantly to your own collection of these precious gems.

How will you share your gifts of authenticity and abundance?

Let me know what you think in the comments.

John Morlan is a partner at Authentic Abundance.

Flickr Photo – Leland

In doing research for my Community College classes, I was very excited to learn about a very special  class at Harvard University. Technically, the name of the course was Positive Psychology. But the media liked to call it the Happiness Class.

I was amazed to learn that this class was the most popular course ever at Harvard.   And I was THRILLED to discover that research in this class shows that happiness precedes success and not the other way around.

To be more specific, studies are showing that happy people are more successful and healthy. One of the teachers of this class- Shawn Anchor- has brought together the latest research on the relationship between happiness and success.

He makes a compelling case that people can learn to be happy and it should be taught in the schools. . And TRUE success is sure to follow.

What specifically does this information mean for you and me?  I feel it is a great opportunity to challenge our assumptions about happiness, success and competence. In the past most people thought you became happy only after achieving something – a career goal, owning a home or some other objective.

But now, aware and savvy people are finding out for themselves that they don’t necessarily experience happiness this way. It’s people who are happy to begin with, argues Anchor, who can then achieve the successes they seek.  And truly happy people can maintain that happiness and move on to other goals and objectives.

You may ask, “How does someone learn to be happy?” Take classes?  Yes, hundreds of colleges and graduate schools offer some genre of happiness or positive psychology classes.  And there are hundreds of happiness books offered on the web. One of the easiest ways to be happy is to write down the answer to the question- “What makes me truly happy?”

The founder of these Harvard classes was Tal Ben Shahar.  He did this kind of  soul-searching and as a result, discovered what made him unhappy. Then he did the unthinkable. He took himself off the tenure track at Harvard. He did it because not having to publish something for peer review made him happy.

Tal Ben Shahar said he felt this Positive Psychology was very valuable. He said,

I think the primary change I see (in the students at the end of the year compared to the beginning) is that they give themselves permission to be human. They allow themselves to experience the range of emotions.

Another way to learn to be happy is to authentically connect with others.

THAT’S WHERE AUTHENTIC ABUNDANCE COMES IN.

I feel you don’t necessarily have to take a Happiness Class or read a Happiness Book. Just interacting with the members of Authentic Abundance in the Master Mind groups, classes and other activities, you will learn alot about happiness and success.

Are you ready to be more successful by being truly happy first? Please let us know in the comments below.

Dee Gans is a partner in Authentic Abundance.

 Flickr Photo – Gemb1

Have you ever been on an airplane, in the window seat? As you look out the window, you might remember that there were no lines drawn on the earth. This is especially easy to see when you are crossing the ocean. No lines. Time simply doesn’t exist as a thing!

So what? You might be saying to yourself, “This is just semantics; what’s the big deal?” Here it is . . . How can you manage something that doesn’t exist? Therein lies the problem and all the confusion. We talk about Time Management and work ourselves into a frenzy trying to manage something that doesn’t exist.

Actually, what we do is manage ourselves inside of this concept we call “time”. We go about our lives and do our daily activities in a framework of days, hours, minutes. And . . . I know how much time you have. We are not privy to knowing how long we are going to live. So, in that sense, I don’t know how much time you have.

However, for every week you are on this planet, you have 168 hours. That’s how it got made up. Simple arithmetic . . . 24×7=168. No more; no less. It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female; white, black, brown, red, yellow or green; rich or poor; city or country; liberal or conservative. If you are human and live on this planet, you have 168 hours per week.

Again, so what? So this! When you shift your thinking from managing “time” to managing yourself inside of a concept called “time”, you can transform your life. No longer are you saddled with trying to manage this elusive concept. When you stop to think about it, you realize that part of the problem is that you cannot wrap your hands around the idea of managing time. Yet, you are expected to know what everyone is talking about when they mention “Time Management.”

When you manage yourself inside the concept of time, it clears up. You are at choice about what you do, when. In addition, this allows another powerful reason for setting goals. You can now place your goals into a framework of action. You can set and prioritize your goals and then manage yourself (inside the concept of time) to accomplish what you want.

One more thing. This shift in thinking allows you to give up saying some things like, “There’s not enough time.” “I don’t know where the time goes.” “I simply don’t have time.” We all know that feeling. Yet, once you know that you have 168 hours in a week and you can manage yourself inside of that structure, you no longer have to make excuses. Only by choice. You now have the power to choose what you do.  

I lied . . . one more thing. This opens you up to one of the more powerful choices you can make. You can say, “No!” You can say “No” to what you don’t want so that you can say “Yes” to what you do want. This will free you up to make the most of your 168 hours.

I’m curious. How will you choose to manage yourself within this ‘concept of time’? Please tell me in the comments.

David Goldman is a partner in Authentic Abundance. David coaches Financial Planners, Attorneys and Accountants who want to grow their business.

Flickr Photo – Giorgio Brida

Yet even though some may be able to build a passive income with online efforts only, it takes lots of time, know how and effort. Even for online businesses asking is necessary to create the alliances one needs for success.

Asking is required to build a successful business.

Sometimes professionals and solo practitioners forget that we are merchants. If you are in the right business for you – your willingness to ask will come more easily. If you don’t believe your fears you’ll be eager to ask.

It’s easy to come up with all sorts of excuses to avoid asking questions that can return unexpected or critical answers. Yet the world responds to those who ask. Jack Canfield

Many are unwilling to ask and this fear of asking appears because of their focus.

Mistakenly they make asking all about them, instead of the customer or potential partner. By doing so they create a perceived fear of rejection, around something as simple as making a request.

This fear of rejection then builds and grows into an insurmountable obstacle that paralyzes business owners from asking for what they want.

This fear of rejection is totally self-created. It’s a story we tell ourselves because we have attached special meaning and emotional charge to the word no. Yet no is simply the other side of yes. Just as night is to day and hot is to cold. No is simply essential information.

Yes lives in the land of no. If you’re not getting no a lot, your request is weak. Steve Chandler

Without the possibility of no, a yes cannot occur. People want to do business with enthusiastic askers. Everyone respects a strong offer that has a clear choice of yes or no.

Money and success is attracted to confidence. If you cannot or will not ask for what you want, how confident are you?

Ask and while asking think of the benefit for the real people you are asking. By focusing on their gain your self-created fear of personal rejection will lessen.

What stops you from asking for what you want? Is it real? Can you absolutely say that your fear is real?

Flickr Photo – RenaissanceChambara

What were some specifics of the Gathering that made an impression or seemed to have worked well for you?

I think the connections were highly valued and very much appreciated by all who attended. I’m not so sure if it was just because we met in person but in person perhaps made it easier to connect with one another.

Perhaps we ought to consider an all -day or half-day virtual Gathering.

I have been thinking of who I will be in 20 years. This is a great way to stay on track with my dreams! (thanks John, for the Future Self Exercise)

I’m so grateful to be a part of this wonderful experiment in co-creating a conscious community to help our species wake up!

The combination of watching the time so as to get through everything and the laid back feel of the day.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Suriving the driving conditions. The brocolli cheese soup. Hugs!!

Mutual respect, appreciation and acceptance by and for all who attended the Gathering certainly was apparent. I am reminded of Deb Carter’s post from early last summer where she shared the importance of Self Acceptance. Here it is in its entirety as a comfortable and welcome reminder:

What type of relationship do you have with you?  Do you have a deep sense of self-acceptance?

I’m willing to bet that if you criticize yourself in your head, chances are you also have unsatisfactory relationships with your world.

When our thoughts move to what we have not yet done, or what we have done poorly, our mood often shifts into one of contempt. This contempt is meant to be toward ourselves, but instead we project it out onto every relationship we come into contact with at that time!

The bottom line is that when we love and appreciate ourselves, everything else falls into place. Our world is brighter, calmer, more dynamic, and fun! We are easier on ourselves as well as those who surround us.
 

But how can we move to a place of self-acceptance if our negative thoughts are sabotaging us?

The very first step is to detect your own negative thought patterns and accept that they exist.

If this is a new concept for you, you may need to incorporate a practice of recognizing those negative thought patterns.

Some of you may need to simply pay attention to your thoughts. For others, however, it may be easier to tune into your body, where negative thoughts show up as symptoms (when a symptom appears, there will almost always be a disapproving thought that has been running through your head).

For best results in your detective work, begin by combining it with another daily activity such as brushing your teeth. Put a note near your toothbrush that says something like: “Today, I will pay attention to my negative self-talk.” Or, “Today, I will pay attention to the discomfort in my body, and then investigate what I’ve been thinking about.”

Use words that resonate with you, and don’t judge yourself in any way. Make it comfortable for you to move through this transformation.

In order to move into the acceptance of these “nasty” thoughts, you may want to spend a week or so journaling which of the negative thoughts come to mind most often.

This will set a pattern of acceptance and recognition to aid in the next step of your journey. HINT: Keep your journal handy, so that it too becomes part of your practice.

The second step is to improve your self-chatter. Now that you have been paying attention to those ‘voices in your head’ and you realize that they do in fact exist, you can now move to the exciting part of your transformation!

Take the harshest criticism you have recorded and write it on one side of a piece of paper. Now, find the precise opposite of that sentence and write it across from the original thought.

For example, if you often find yourself saying “I am such a failure,”  jot down the opposite of that as, “I am such a success.”

Saying the new phrase out-loud has a tremendous impact on your sub-conscious.

If speaking it makes you feel uncomfortable, try this: Think of a time in your life that you had a success, even if it was miniature!! What about the time that you trained your dog to sit? Or the time you learned to drive?

Didn’t you feel like a million bucks?? Guess what, you can feel that way again! You are a success!

This second step may take a little getting used to, but stay committed. The movement from unconscious thinking to a very present conscious engagement in echoing positive thought can bring about profound changes to transform your relationship with the world!

Why not try this experiement? Let me know how it is working for you in the comments section. Good luck!

Deb Carter, a partner in Authentic Abundance, is a Registered Reflexologist Practitioner

1. I’m a new member in September 2012 please tell me the top reasons why I ought to attend Gathering 2012.

2. What were all the factors that contributed to this being a fulfilling and valuable experience for you?

Here are the answers -

I’m a new member in September 2012 please tell me the top reasons why I ought to attend Gathering 2012.

Face to face meeting is the most unique and wonderful experience

You will connect with awesome people who can help you personally and professionally

You will have lots of fun with a lot of laughter

You will be re-energized to connect more powerfully with who you really are to do more of what you are here to do.

You will enjoy yourself because of the light-hearted camaraderie.

You will leave being re-energized to build your authentic business.

You will experience cutting-edge connection that is unlike any other.

Connecting in person is exponentially better than on the phone or computer.

The synergy of the group builds throughout the day.

Everyone brought forth their own gift and shared it with the group and the whole became greater than just the sum of the parts.

When this group meets, the energy is tremendous – you can feel it in every cell!

Self-realizations, self-realizations, self-realizations!

What were all the factors that contributed to this being a fulfilling and valuable experience for you?

Very friendly and open atmosphere, creative and positive energy, lots of great information

It was easy, fun, light, deep, open, friendly, warm, educational, inspiring, alive, creative – all things I enjoy very much

The unconditional acceptance by all.

The sense of shared mission.

The beautiful variety in the presentations.

The depth of whole-heartedness of every single individual.

The people, the talent, the openness, the sharing, the beauty of the place, the cohesiveness, the diversity

All the people involved, the setting, the offerings.

TOTAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT – Awesome!!

Tell us what you would enjoy experiencing if you joined us in 2012.